Out by the Shed

Published with Impspired Literary Magazine July 2019
Out by the Shed

Out by the shed I burn
a year and half of mandatory
chemically induced menopause.
I’m a bonfire of release
crackling with a decade of

abundant off label over prescribing of
fentanyl patches, gabapentin, and each new pain pill on the
market. My hair is covered in charred pieces of
my Defiance and Non-Compliance
when I had the nerve to tell you

that getting pregnant again was no cure
for Endometriosis, for someone heavily
medicated and in pain and with two special needs kids.
The ashes of your fire of authority
are sucked straight up into the moon

a swirling snowstorm of
involuntary therapies.
You used to line up the objects
on your desk over and over
thinking you were the source of light

and heat and order but now I don’t need to stand
by the flames of your misguided treatments
and your habits of disbelief.
I stomp on the parts of you still moving
then I cremate you

and you drift over West Woods
your ashes silhouetted against
Sirius and the rings of Saturn singing.
I hid things in the dark
and yielded to excruciating pain out of deep love

and self-imposed expectations that because
I could tolerate anything I should.
The blaze of you coats my mouth.
You diagnosed me into pieces
that took forever to collect. Now

​I’m a Firestarter.

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