The Edges of Things
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  • I Hear Them Bleeding Hope-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
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  • Inside Out Pain-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Probably Confabulations-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine-poetry
  • Revenant Gloam-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Lies Heavy-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Mark of the Empty-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Barely Aloof-Poet's Haven Digest Anthology, The Distance Between Insanity and Genius/poetry
  • Fata Morgana-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Time Will Spend Us-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • I Cannot Make Permanent Things-The Write Launch Literary Magazine/poetry
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Apostle of Disbelief


Apostle of Disbelief
Published Poet’s Haven Digest, It Was a Dark and Story Night Anthology December 2018
A revised version of this poem also appeared in The Blue Nib Literary Magazine
poetry
​
It was a dark and stormy night
born from sight stealing light
and sterile preoccupation
doused in antiseptic
and led by misguided superiority

the most silent thing in the room was me
lying arms spread
velcroed down
amid summoning circuitry
and questioning beeps

and the Blacksmith Surgical Cesarean Section Set
88 gleaming instruments of disregard
lined up neatly
with authority
and one purpose

I spoke politely
first
then with growing urgency
then with repetitious bluntness
“I am not numb on my right side.”

he was full up on Disbelief
founded entirely upon an utterly
blind belief in some other thing
that the logic and boundaries of his world
would not allow for me

the staccato of his ‘S’s’
hissed so close to my ear
I could feel the moisture
in his breath
“The worst is over.”

my heart pounded His Machines
warning
mustering
until my veins burned with the poison of silence
until my vision spilled in lazy circles

until reason was blunted nearly gagging me
“You drugged me,” I wailed
shocked by my disacknowledgement
and numb only with the realization
that no outward force would compel

this man to hear me
when the scalpel sliced
supremely sharp
against the layers of my abdomen
its awful beauty too much

for my nervous system to process
I was the loudest thing in the room
even next to the swearing of my OB
the horrific clamor of 87 instruments hitting the floor
the footsteps of so many people scrambling

and the Apostle of Disbelief
defending his crime of Unwillingness
louder than them all
when the Man and His Machines
undid me

​under the sight
stealing light
and the sterile preoccupation
of certainty
it was a dark and stormy night.

​
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  • Something You Don't Know Yet - Chapbook with ShabdAaweg Press
  • Buy Chapbook Something You Don't Know Yet at ShabdAaweg Press
  • About
  • Contact
  • Mouthful of Storm- Wild Roof Journal/lyrical prose
  • This Blood Is Beautiful-Wishbone Words/CNF
  • No One Writes About Agnes-The Red Fez Literary Magazine/CNF
  • Mine-Hearth & Coffin/CNF
  • The Elephants Only I Can See-TMP Magazine, Lyrical Prose
  • Dust-Miniskirt Magazine/CNF
  • The Woman With Mice-Misery Tourism/Fiction
  • How to Wake Up Feeling Dangerous-Anti Heroin Chic Magazine/Poetry
  • Bone World-Prometheus Dreaming/lyrical prose
  • I Know a Wall When I See One - Tangled Locks Journal/CNF
  • Animal Instinct- Pangyrus Literary Magazine/CNF
  • Tick-HerStry/CNF
  • Handler-Anti-Heroine Chic Magazine/CNF
  • When the East Wind Comes-Months to Years Literary Journal/CNF
  • The Man with the Round Tomatoes in the Square Baskets-Prometheus Dreaming/CNF
  • Pandemically Yours
  • Chariotless God-Kalopsia Literary Journal/CNF
  • The Dead Are Holding Something Back-Prometheus Dreaming/CNF
  • The Carving Tree-Write Launch Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Along Third Street-Impspired Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Me Going Gone-Impspired Literary Magazine/poetry
  • For Grief and For Ironing-The Feminine Collective/lyrical prose
  • When the New People Came-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • At the Mercy of my Own Forgetting-Write Launch Literary Magazine/poetry
  • The Rent I Pay-Write Launch Literary Magazine/poetry
  • By the Dead Purple Lady-The Write Launch Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Unbearably Gone-The Write Launch Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Evidence of a Struggle-The Write Launch Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Your Phone Call-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Sylvie of the Stone Stoop-Intermission/poetry
  • Charlie's Assessment-Intermission/poetry
  • Signed, Legally Ryn-Intermission/poetry
  • It's Been Raining-Intermission/poetry
  • Fingerprint Failure-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Bolstered by the Flask-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • I Hear Them Bleeding Hope-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • I'm Partial-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Inside Out Pain-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Probably Confabulations-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine-poetry
  • Revenant Gloam-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Lies Heavy-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Mark of the Empty-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Barely Aloof-Poet's Haven Digest Anthology, The Distance Between Insanity and Genius/poetry
  • Fata Morgana-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Time Will Spend Us-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • I Cannot Make Permanent Things-The Write Launch Literary Magazine/poetry
  • A Silence Necessary-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Tidally Locked-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Blue, I Think-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Revenant Gloam-The Write Launch Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Swiftly Flying Shadow Bands-The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Apostle of Disbelief-Poet's Haven Digest, It Was a Dark and Stormy Night AnthologPublished in The Poet’s Haven Digest Anthology, Strange Land and in The Blue Nib Literary Magazine/poetry
  • A Measurable Objective-Impspired Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Cacti Toucher-Impspired Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Mean Free Path-Impspired Literary Magazine/poetry
  • I am a Bridge-Impspired Literary Magazine/poetry
  • A Gurney for Me-The Feminine Collective/poetry
  • Just the Other Stuff-The Feminine Collective/poetry
  • A Valid Exit-Impspired Literary Magazine/poetryu
  • Everything Hard is Tangled-Impspired Literary Magazine/poetry
  • On Zillow-Impspired Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Out by the Shed-Impspired Literary Magazine/poetry
  • Press